Recognising your power in every situation

We face problems daily. Smaller ones, larger ones, all sorts of problems. Problems appear in all sorts of spheres in our lives – within our family, in our business, with friends, within our community, and so on. Problems are unfortunately a part of life. When something bad happens where we are unhappy with the situation, the outcome, the circumstances, etc. it is only normal that we get uneasy, angry, frustrated, and sometimes feel helpless.

This is as true when it comes to our personal lives as it is when it comes to business. So what is the most natural reaction that occurs when we feel out of balance and helpless? We start to complain and normally we start looking for someone or something to blame for the situation at hand. It is as if these reactions would solve the issue or make it better. Yet, even though they don’t, we are often trapped in that blame game.

Thus, we focus our attention and we put our energy into something that brings us nowhere. And it brings us nowhere because it is outside of our control. Say that your kid started coming back home with poor grades or your business partner left you or you didn’t get the sales figures you wanted. Your first instinct is to go and find somebody guilty of what makes you unhappy with the situation. In the first two examples, it would be your kid / the teacher and your business partner, and in the third one, probably the economy.

I believe that every situation has a cause-and-effect side of it. You make an effort to perfect your sales skills (cause) and then you increase your sales by 10% (effect).  And vice versa – you do nothing about an issue and that’s the cause, you get bad results – that’s the effect.  Now, the effect is not something that you can always control because it depends on several factors, many of which are external. The cause, on the other hand, is something that is completely under your control. By realising this, and working on that side of the equation you can manipulate the effect (or the result in other words) to a great extent.

If we go back to the above examples, neither your kid as such nor the teacher or your business partner is something you have control over. They are separate people who have their own will and make their own choices. So is the economy – there’s nothing you alone can do to turn the economy around. What you can do, however, is adjust your effort and behavior to get the result that you want.

So first of all, you need to understand and accept that you have no control over external factors (factors outside of yourself). Placing blame and complaining won’t change that fact. If you want to change the effect side of the equation, you need to look into what you can do on the cause side of it.

What do you have control over? And what could you do? What steps can you take? This is where your power resides; because by manipulating the cause side, you can change the effect side of things to a great extent. Hence, this is what you should focus on.

Here are a few easy steps to follow to make sure you are on the right side of the equation:

Face the problem

Sometimes it is obvious what makes us uneasy and unhappy, yet we prefer to ignore it. Maybe it is the possibility of having to shut down your business. Or that you are not satisfied with the profits. Or maybe that clients’ feedback is bad and you feel like you are failing at what you do. Whatever it is, don’t ignore it. Be honest with yourself, just tell yourself ‘ok, that’s the deal – I’m not getting the results I want, and I am not happy with the situation’. People prefer to not think about issues that hurt them. Yet, you need to recognise what specifically it is that makes you unhappy before you can do anything about it at all.

Define the factors involved

Think about the reasons why the situation is as it is. Say that you are not making enough profits. The economy could be struggling, or your prices might be too high. It could also be a mismatch between value and money, or not reaching a large enough audience.  Or say your kid gets bad grades in Maths at school – it could be that the teacher is not explaining well or that your kid is not motivated for whatever reason. Just brainstorm and try to find out all the possible reasons for the given situation. Sometimes, it is a combination of reasons that leads to a particular situation.

Decide what you have control over

This is the single most important step. You need to figure out, which of the factors you’ve come up with that are completely external ( and you have no control over) and which ones you can do something about. Once you do that, forget about the factors that don’t depend on you, and forget about placing blame. Your focus should be on the ones you can do something about. So when it comes to sales and profits what can you do? You can’t change the economy, but you can re-think your pricing. You can think of alternative marketing channels, you can sign up for a sales course, and so on. But you need to act, you need to change your behavior, and you need to take measures. This is the only place where you have control – your actions.

If your child struggles, consider private lessons if it’s a teaching issue. If motivation is the problem, talk to your child and explore alternative ways to inspire them. This will help them achieve the results you want.

Take action

Don’t procrastinate. You know what the possible reasons are for where you stand and you know what you could do to change the results. Don’t be afraid to take action. If one thing doesn’t work, another will. The more you try, the more you will learn and the faster you will be able to resolve the situation or solve the problem. One way or another, there always is a way out of it.

Evaluate and adjust

When you decide what you are to do and before you start acting, decide how much time you will give it to see results. Whether is it a few weeks, 6 months, or a year – you need to make sure that you keep an eye on the progress. If you realise in 6 months that your strategy is giving results, then keep it up, and if not, quickly change the plan and try something else. Keep adjusting until you get the results you want.

Every time you get the urge to complain or blame – remember, this brings you nowhere, and essentially, it is a waste of time. If you want to see results, you need to change something that depends on yourself.  You cannot change people and you certainly cannot change circumstances. But you can change the actions you take that will affect the results you get.