“You never get a second chance to make a first impression”
Yes. And once you’ve been stuck into somebody’s stereotype box (and we all have a bunch of those), there is no getting out of there. People judge. You judge, I judge, we all judge whether we realise it or not. It’s a subconscious reflex that is deeply embedded into our nature and we can’t help it.
Harvard Business School social psychologist Ammy Cuddy has carried out a study on first impressions and she found out that our very first encounter with a stranger answers two questions right away: Is this person trustworthy? and How strong and competent is this person? These two traits, trustworthiness and competence, account for 80% to 90% of first impressions.
I don’t think that anybody would be shocked by this discovery. I mean, you know whether you like somebody and whether you want anything to do with them within 2 min from meeting them for the first time. And this depends to a great extent, on whether we trust them on a more subconscious level.
Trust is everything.
With larger companies it is a sort of a given because they are well-known. With small firms it is a completely different story. This is why, in my work as an executive coach and business consultant, this is the first and main point I try to get across to small business owners and entrepreneurs.
Once trust is gained you can go a long way. And trust oftentimes depends on your very first interactions with your clients. You either gain it and you win; or you don’t and you lose. So let’s look into some ways that will help you ensure your first impression exudes trustworthiness and competence.
Dress the part
Yes, I know you know that, you’ve heard it before. But hold on. I’m not saying put on a suit and a tie. In fact, that might be a terrible decision if you feel uncomfortable in a suit and a tie. Besides, you never know how formal your client’s company is. You might expect them to be dressed up because of the industry they are in and go into a meeting only to find out that in fact they all wear jeans and only dress formal when meeting their own clients. Or vice versa. Either way, chances are if you don’t fit in, it will make you feel uncomfortable and feeling uncomfortable will inevitably take away from your confidence.
So what I would suggest is to dress in a way that is respectful but most importantly, that reflects who you truly are. Clothes have a funny way of making us feel a certain way. So what I’m saying is: if a suit and a tie is you and you feel in your own skin wearing that, then absolutely! But if you are more of a jeans person, then surely wear jeans, you might just want to throw on a blazer or a shirt to show that you are respectful all the same.
Don’t try to fit in for the sake of it. Try to be YOU. It’s the only way you will feel relaxed, comfortable and ultimately exude confidence.
Make small talk
People often try too hard. They want to come off as being professional, as being an expert, as ‘knowing their stuff’ and they forget to be human. Don’t be overly business like, show your personality. Otherwise, you might come off as stiff and the truth is people like to do business with other people, not with corporate bodies.
That being said, before discussing any business matters, talk about the things from life. Talk about the weather today; ask them if the place across the road has good food / coffee, comment on the poster on their wall or whatever comes to mind. You might even share a brief story that is relevant to your comment or you client’s comment.
But whatever you do, your first job is to show that you are a human, that you are down to earth and ultimately to connect with them.
Do your homework
Do I even need to explain that bit? People want to be understood, we all strive to be understood in our lives, business is no exception. If you’ve been asked in today, it is because your client hopes that you are able to solve a certain problem for them or help them with something. But in order to be able to do so and moreover demonstrate that you are competent, you need to understand their business and the industry they are in.
So do your homework, have a look through their website, read any press releases or blog posts by their company or about their company, check out their competition. That way first of all, you will feel prepared, second of all you will demonstrate you are prepared and last but not least, the examples you give, the references you make, and the ideas you throw in during the conversation will be relevant.
So do your research so that you can show that you understand.
Ask questions & Listen
I can’t stress this bit hard enough. If you take away one advice from here, let it be this one. While researching your client you might as well jot down any questions that come to mind and especially those that would be relevant to what you’re going in to meet your client for. Have a list prepared, ask your questions, listen carefully and take notes.
The benefits of asking questions (and when I say questions, I mean relevant questions) are two-fold:
First of all, it reaffirms that you have done your job and thought about their business and the challenges they may face. More importantly, it demonstrates that you are trying to understand and again people love to be understood. It’s a deep need that we all have as humans.
And second of all, listening to what they have to say will help you tailor any solutions you have up your sleeve. Not offering generic solutions but ones that strike the right note guarantees to win them over.
Many people go into a meeting with a sales mindset, talking about what they offer and trying to force it on their potential clients. Don’t sell, don’t ever try to sell. When people sense that (and they do right away), it normally leads to natural resistance, it is an instinct to escape from what is being forced on us. Try to understand instead – money buys but emotions sell. You want to show that you care.
Be calm
They often advise you to stand up straight in a meeting, with your chin up and your eyes maintaining eye contact at all times. Well, if all those things make you feel uncomfortable people will sense that. It could make you look artificial and even anxious sometimes and this is the last thing you want. Sit back, relax and just be yourself.
Don’t get into a panic if you can’t answer a question. Just say that you need to double check and will get back to them. People understand that nobody could possibly know the answers to all questions and this is alright. We are all human after all and your attitude must reflect that, don’t stress out. Being friendly and eager to understand and help is just about enough.
Always keep in mind one thing: your life doesn’t depend on this meeting. And even if you are the one that is being auditioned, so to speak, doing business is a two way street. You are in there to find out as much about them as they are about you. There needs to be a fit.
You have done your homework, you have asked all the questions and you have been yourself and thus honest with them. That is as much as you can do. Being calm only reaffirms that you are competent enough and it makes you look even more confident.
Don’t forget that Perception is Reality and perception very much depends on what parts of ourselves we demonstrate consciously or not. It is hard to know what subconscious signals we send. All we can do is try to be as authentic as we can (and thus honest), while at the same time keeping a professional tone. People will sense that and they will trust you. And trust is the single most important prerequisite that will open the doors to anything and everything.